Now, let's go over some of the more "popular" weapons for disposing of the living dead. These are the weapons that first come to a lot of people's minds when asked, "What's the best weapon to dispose of a zombie?" These are not necessarily the best weapons, but the first ones people think of. When I asked people this question, I ruled out guns and other projectile weapons, and focused more on dealing with a zombie in close quarters. Most people gave the same three answers; a bat, a sword, or a chainsaw.

Before we start, I need to clear up some things. For anyone reading this who doesn't know how to "kill" a zombie, shame on you. You are food. The only way to completely eliminate the threat of a zombie is to destroy the brain. You can do other things like cutting off the head, severing the spine, etc. This may make a zombie incapable of biting or infecting you while you stay away from it, but the severed head of a zombie is still capable of biting your ankles or feet if you're too close (or too poor to afford shoes).

	An aluminum baseball bat

Okay, let me start here with the most common of the three answers; the baseball bat. Now, I did get other random answers once or twice like an axe, a golf club, or a car; and one person said they would just go out throwing fists. I like to call those people "distractions". (If I were ever in some kind of outbreak, and there was the "distraction" and I. I would be like "YEAH MAN! GO PUNCH THE SHIT OUT OF THOSE ZOMBIES! I GOT YOUR BACK!" Then I would watch as he got ripped to pieces and I'd stroll away as not a zombie would pay notice to me.)

Anyway, a bat is not a terrible choice for turning a zombie's skull to dust. Considering most people have at least one bat somewhere in their home. (Unless their fat and non-athletic, in which case they'll die first anyway, so it doesn't matter) it's a smart first choice for a weapon. It has the advantage of being able to be swung with enough force to fracture the skull in one or two blows. It is also quite fast. What I mean by this is that you can swing the bat again quickly after you've obliterated the skull of one zombie, which gives you the ability to take on more than one zombie at a time. Both wooden and aluminum bats are considerably lightweight and easy to carry while you're on the move, outrunning all the fat people.

On the other end of the spectrum, if you have to fight off a small horde of undead, how long do you really think a bat will last you? Aluminum or wooden, do not underestimate the strength of the human skull. A wooden bat is going to give you a bit more force behind a blow than an aluminum bat since it is solid, but my guess is at one point the bat is going to splinter in your hands as you demolish the face of your zombie foe. Now, you may be dumb as hell and think that an aluminum bat is the only thing you need, because it is metal, and obviously metal doesn't break easily. (If you're one of these people, you'll die, and I will be there to laugh at you.) An aluminum bat may or may not last longer than a wooden one. Depending on how hard you can swing, before you know it, that bat is going to be bent in half and rendered useless.

	A one-handed light sword

Alright, on to the second most popular answer; a sword. Now, most people didn't specify the type of sword they had in mind. Some people said a katana but that was the only specific kind of sword anyone mentioned. It seems that people watch too many movies and think that they can just wield a sword as soon as they pick it up. I'm not saying you won't be able to swing a sword at something, but there is accuracy and timing involved, so I hope you've been practicing. (Just find an old Asian guy with white hair and I guarantee you he can teach you a thing or two about sword fighting.) A sword really can be a great weapon, depending on the type of sword you have and what you're planning on doing with it.

So, let's say you have a katana, and not some replica you bought off eBay for ten dollars; I'm talking about a folded-steel, hand forged katana. All too often do I see people who get a katana on the internet and think they can chop a log in half or something and then cry when the blade or handle breaks or comes apart. If you're using a katana, there are basically two types of attacks you can do. The decapitating head chop-off or a straight thrust (usually through the eye socket) to fuck up the brain.

If you have a good sword, you are going to be able to get through a good amount of zombie necks before you damage the sword or just run out of energy. But this is where the precision comes into play. If you don't know what you are doing with the sword, you may not hit the neck on the first try. You might get the sword lodged in the side of a skull or shoulder; then you will be struggling to retrieve your weapon as the oncoming wave of undead draw nearer. (Once again, I will be there to laugh as your sorry ass gets devoured.) Also, don't forget to always wear boots in a zombie crisis, especially if you are cutting off heads with a katana. Before you know it you'll be standing in a sea of snapping zombie heads.

The other most popular type of sword is the two-handed broad sword. Contrary to popular belief (and most movies), these swords were not really meant to be super sharp and cut limbs and heads off. In medieval times, they were actually quite dull and used more to just beat the shit out of someone until they died. And once again, don't go fighting zombies with your Lord of the Rings replica sword. Make sure you have a decent sword that's up to the task of mowing through some undead.

Usually, when wielding a broad sword, you would want to aim for either the neck or head. By doing this you either break through the skull and destroy the brain (preferred) or you sever the spine and leave the zombie head limp and useless, dropping the zombie to the ground. Compared to the weight of the katana a two-handed sword is much heavier. Where this gives you the advantage of added force, it will also make you fatigued much faster. You're not going to want to go crazy swinging this thing, as you'll get so tired you can't even stand or run away. Hopefully, you have a sheath for your back as well. Carrying a heavy sword like that in your hands while you're on the move is going to really tire you out, (and if you're with me and you fall behind. I'm not going back for you.)

Last, the most practical kind of sword is your average machete. A machete can be picked up at your local hardware store for around 25 dollars. If it is not already sharp, you can sharpen it yourself so it is most effective. Although this doesn't have the power of the other two swords, it is the easiest to come by and the best if you are on the go.

	A small chainsaw

Finally, we come to our last weapon; the chainsaw. If you picked the chainsaw as your number one weapon, you've been playing too much Doom in "god mode". Seriously, the only good thing about a chainsaw is the ability to quickly cut through a neck or skull. (Actually if you're using a chainsaw, you're probably the dumb-ass who cuts a zombie in half then gets your legs bit.) Other than that, the chainsaw will do you no good.

First of all, chainsaws are loud as hell. If you're using a bat or sword, they have the advantage of being very quiet as to not attract more undead to your location. The motor of a chainsaw also carries the second flaw; it runs on gas (unless have the pussy kind and have it plugged in). I can just imagine a person laughing in triumph as they cut through zombie after zombie, only to have the motor sputter and die, which they will also do shortly after that. Obviously they're even heavier than a broad sword and make it near impossible to run away. Lastly, when you're cutting through a zombie, you're spraying zombie innards every which way. If you get that in your mouth or an open cut, it's as good as being bitten (except it is slower and you suffer more).

These are just the first three things that came to the average person's mind for fending off a zombie. Obviously, if you put some real thought into it, you will find that there are almost limitless options as to what you can use as a weapon. Just make sure you figure out all the pros and cons to your choice so you don't end up like the fat guy who doesn't own a baseball bat.